ALBIA — Rejecting reports that it had suffered a structural failure, a downtown Albia building clarified Tuesday that its highly visible collapse was an intentional educational demonstration aimed at anyone who had spent the last three decades describing its condition as “still standing.”
“Oh, that? Yeah, not an accident, lol,” said the Skean Building, built in 1889.
The structure said it had previously attempted to communicate through cracked masonry, bowed walls, leaking ceilings, loose bricks and increasingly creative interpretations of the phrase “load-bearing,” but acknowledged those efforts were repeatedly mistaken for “the charm of old buildings.”
“Clearly, my messages had fallen on deaf ears,” the building said. “And now here we are, spread out all over an alleyway. Notice how motivated everyone is to fix me now? It’s about damn time.”
Nearby buildings reportedly watched the demonstration with a mixture of admiration and concern, several quietly hoping officials would not suddenly begin paying attention to them.
City leaders thanked the building for its feedback and announced they would begin exploring several committees to discuss the possibility of eventually considering next steps.
Before settling into a large pile of brick and timber, the building reminded onlookers that it had spent years issuing written warnings, verbal warnings, structural warnings and what engineers generally refer to as “the scary noises.”
“I honestly don’t know how much clearer I could’ve been.”
